By: Gary Marcella
I really need to wrap up my final story from the hospital so I can get to some other gems from our first few weeks at home. It’s getting ever increasingly harder not to use my spare time to sleep rather than write a blog, but I am powering thru it today for you! (you’re welcome).
Laura and I were in the hospital a total of 5 days – we had to stay a day extra for little Grady to soak up a few more rays to sideline the jaundice. The hospital had discharged us on Monday – and allowed us to be “boarders” the remaining night because it was widely known Grady would be ready to go on Tuesday. That final night was the most peaceful yet (and turns out our last peaceful night to date), no nurses coming in to check vitals in the middle of the night, no traffic or visitors, just us relaxing knowing that tomorrow is our day – that the boys would make the trip home with us, it was almost surreal. Night has passed and as we get in the SCN for the 6am feeding, the nurses let us know that Grady’s billi rate was fantastic and all we needed was for the doctor to get in and give the final word we could leave – SWEET. We head back to the room to start to gather our things and prepare. I decide there is just a few too many things in the room to take both the boys AND all the stuff home in one shot, so I decided I am going to make a “trip” home first to bring all the other stuff. As you can imagine, I am anxious at this point, I really want to get out of there at this point. I fill my bags and arms with stuff and head to the car. We only live like 3 minutes from the hospital, so running home and back takes no time at all.
Here is where the proverbial $h#t hits the fan. I am so concentrated and focused on getting the boys, I park my car and head up the steep concrete steps from the visitor lot. I am jogging to the stairs, now what happens next – I have been advised by a few I should probably make some other story, but the truth (although humiliating) is best. As I start my incline, something stirs in the garbage can to the right of the stairs. I get startled and look over – it’s a squirrel feasting on some rotten food and garbage. He shimmies his way out of the garbage can and leaps. Now in my head, he was leaping at me to scratch out my eyes and devour me on the steps, in reality, he wanted no part of me and leapt in the opposite direction to get the hell away from me. It scares the daylights out of me and I switch gears from a jog to a full-out sprint, someone forgot to tell my brain that my legs needed to incline up some steps and I cracked my toe directly on the 3rd step. Probably wouldn’t me much of a problem had I been wearing some real shoes, but of course, not me – I had on my sandals. As I fall up the stairs, stupidly I try to save the SODA that is in my hand rather than brace myself for impact, and naturally the soda crashes to the steps as well.
There is a lady who was walking up the stairs in front of me and heard the commotion, looked back and asked me if I was OK – of course I said yes, but I hadn’t looked at my toe yet. I hobble up to the lobby of the hospital and look down – OUCH. My big toe was mangled, the nail split down the middle and just an absolute wreck. I grab some napkins from the dispenser at the Chubba Bagels in the lobby, throw them on my toe and forge on to the maternity ward. I get upstairs and immediately tell Laura “we have a problem”. I show her the toe and she is concerned. I try to get the nurses on the maternity floor to give me some gaus so I can get home, but they wont – and stick me in a wheelchair to the ER… Do’oh. We get downstairs and its JAMMIN down there. I am frustrated, embarrassed and all out disgusted with myself. After about 45 minutes there, I finally get called to the window to let them know what is going on. It’s at this point I basically plea with them to help me out – I still had the two bracelets on for the boys and I just want to take them home. I tell them if they can’t get me in, just hand me some gaus and I’ll wrap it myself and be on my way. I guess they all felt bad for me – one of the nurses tells me “If I take you in now, don’t tell anyone out in the waiting room we did this”. I’m like “Shoot, take me in, I’ll even slip out the back door and walk around the building to avoid the waiting room if I have to” (actually said that). They cleaned me up and GET THIS – I actually got my T-dap shot for tetnis, d something, and pertussis (I’m too lazy to look up what the D is, dalphia or something, not important), which they recommended anyone caring for newborns get anyway… DONE. Finally done after an hour and a half, I hang my head and go back upstairs – but immediately get rejuvenated seeing the boys and knowing WE’RE COMING HOME!! That’s the story of how my hospital “trip” landed me in the ER – apparently I was jealous of all the attention Laura and the boys were getting, I needed some of my own. What a mess!! We all made it home safely and I learned a valuable lesson – squirrels are not out for my blood, if that were a bird, I would have been justified!